Joyfully (:
You lead me by the waters still
You lay me down to rest upon your faithfulness
My shepherd, simply take my hand
Your song restores my soul
For Your name, You make me whole
Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee
With heaven watching over me, I raise my hands up high
Your Majesty gently washes over me
Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully
No shadow ever shall I fear
Your peace, my heart will k now
My cup it overflows
Your goodness chases after me
Your mercy and Your grace will be my dwelling place
Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee
With heaven watching over me I raise my hands up high
Your Majesty gently washes over me
Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully
I will sing from the mountain top
I will sing, I am overcome, I will sing making melodies
I will sing from the valley low
I will sing because of Your love I will sing
You're my King, I will sing
Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee
With heaven watching over me I raise my hands up high
Your Majesty gently washes over me
Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully
Joyfully, joyfully, joyfully
dailies
Monday, September 27, 2004
-3:17 PM
The day i gave up everything to Him
this blog is gonna be rather long. i was once again grounded for 2 days for the computer. Here's what happened over the week ends. I finally found it.
250904 church+sww
I was doing ushering duty again. but i had to meet dorand ser for operation XX. hah :D so i left at 2.30. found ser at touch resource. dor had yet to arrive. hahaha. started talking alot of crap, showed her the photos. went to 7-11 for mentos, to parkway without dor. she waas gonna be late. so we went to all the sports shop in parkway. i saw the acmilan shirt ahpa has :D cool. but all the socks dint really look very nice. so ser was gonna go queensway. dor finally came. went to precious thots to get it. got it. (lame)and we went to buy facial wipes, mask (ohlol. this is sure funny) and im gonna get the comb soon.
and so it was time for me to meet there. chong to church. ps jimmy was there with ernest (chicken) guys. no thanks to them, ser and dor cldnt usher. boooo. hahhhah.
i gotten a G4 this time. in which i think i prefer G6. was supposed to do offering bags, welcomer, and convert. didnt know how to do the convert thingy. oh wells, with some help of chicken, i managed to do so :D im glad phoee got the counter thing. the worse part was, i didnt have a partner this time. i was afraid i would mess up with the bags. quite fweaky.
oks first i did welcoming. again mr neo went to the other entrance. boo. hahhs. just greeted loads of people like last week. um. then closed door at 5.15. went in to join worship. i was so caught up with it. i was just tearing when Someone suddenly tapped my shoulder. i was like a lil shocked. -.- so much for ushering. got the offering bags. was trying to calm myself down. hahhhs. this whole thing is embarassing. newcomers in front of me, yet i was soo scared until i cldnt move myslef. ps jimmy had to take the forms from me. ahhhaha. and then gave offering bags. i was looking at the row numbers alertly. hahhhs. its really scary to mess up alright. quite an experience though. hahhhs. oh yes hacy dint come cos she was down with food poisoning. we all prayed for her :D
went back to sit with bl. and phoee. hear the sermon by ps melvyn. purpose of life. uhms. till now i dont know how to do it. will go read my notebook soon :D but one thing that cuaght me init was to let go off all offences. quite saddening. hah. cos im someone who bear grudges. a broken heart. something that was hard to let go.
time to pray. went for the converts thingy. hahhs. so its so easy. alright. hahs :D then went back, just in time to go for alter call. walked up with phoee. then surprisingly dor ser and bl came. bl and ser did the ministry. ser prayed for dor than me. ahha. but somehow, i just really really couldnt let go of it.
pam* was in my mind. i just hated her. i was so jealous of her.
i left church. feeling a sense of lost. cos i was just worried. i knew that alter call thingy was so fake. can yew imagine someone whos goes out for alter call without recieving blessings and forgiveness from the Lord? i just wondered. was quite bothered by this matter.
left for sww in a bus. but this time we had so much more space. all of us(Jb tribe) were in the bus. ahhaha. chicken was definately crapping around again. then when he helped us take a photo , he leant toooo backwards. squashed eunice. the whole bus were going like "OOOOOooohhh.... diedie. lean on a girl. " hahh it was soo damn funny! we were all laughing. he gave that really super embarrased look. cute eh. then he went to sit with wj (ithink.) hahs. but he still took us. oh yes we were really crappin around withthe camera too. the whole tribe =) then me and ser were like singing the maroon 5 song and the reason. hahahs. oh yes i gave the lyrics to her. seems that she loves it :D
reached tct. went down daa bus, took photos (again) but this time with laopa!! whooopee! hees. i hope the photo turns out great. cos this is my one and only photo with him and dor and ser and phoee:D tried persuading him to take with bl, but i guess he was too embarassed *ohlol.
then we went in to put our bags. went to eat dinner. same thing. went back to church. just in time. hahha. i think i was quite pissed when she sat beside me. i thought i'ld just rather sit alone like on sunday. gives me some peace. jealousy and anger just came upon me. i just couldnt concentrate during worship. her voice was just killing me. i was just Him to remove it from me. but i just couldnt.
started. on healing. um. just healing of the body. laying on of hands. something liddat.ps Hee Guan preached. it was just really hilarious and funny with all these weird pastors around teaching us. EJ24 are absolutely wacky people!!! :D
again. called to minister. went down again for the thyroid thingy. i think this time i had much confidence when the whole cell prayed for me. i Believed that by His name, i am healed. amen.
and i even said to her "i forgiven her", which is in fact, i didnt. i still hated her. i thought i was acting But. but but but. i had to forgive the person first. boo :/ forgiveness aint easy ya know.
And when they asked for ministry again.,(healing of something which i forgot. maybe to tkae away all those..uhmm actually i really forgot.) i didnt go up. i wanted to but i didnt. really. i went home empty. no meaning in me. the hatred and jealousy was still there. she knows that i like him, but she acts like this had never happened before and kept talking to him. maybe i was just pranoia, but i still cldnt think straight. toobad ser went home with wc. i wanted to talk to her.
walked to the mrt with the tribe. i could see that she was really enjoying herself with bl and the guys. boos. im so glad dor is always there for me =) thanks dor. yew make my day. we were way lagging behind them. then for just no reason she suddenly walk back with me and dor while we were talking. then pull me infront. there came the hatred. i just told her i dint wanna go up. well at least bl came behind. we were talking about the operation XX thing. hahahs. dear bl, you'll nv succeed in our evil** schemes. ahhha.
then i just wanted to sing some stuppid crappy songs. all i dunno. dor started singing the banana. oh lol. mann that was funny. reached the mrt station, chicken, eunice were going back by bus. said bye. so left to me, dor, phoe, bl, josh, clare, shorty, and wj.
dor and .. oops. i realise something. dor went home with bl by bus too. ahhha. that was even made more depressing for me. so both of us only girls. oh yes. i forgot emmy. ahhahs.
again they were crapping. talking to emmy was just very lame. but then she kept cutting in. i was again, pissed. talked to fh. then they left. hahas i was telling them im so insecure and had to wear a shirt inside. i think clare was kinda freaked out :D he looks stupid really. i gave her a hug that wasnt so comfortable. it felt so cold to me.
i went home, with an angry, pissed and jealous heart.
i slept at 1am. feeling both emotionally and physically tired and drained. how i wish i could let go of the whole thing. but i coulnt
260904 ballet+sww
woke up at 10. i was still tired. emotionally and physically again. i didnt want to think about the matter. studied history from 10-11. got distracted. started to search for clothes to wear.prepared everything. borrowed the comp for awhile. threw my ballet stuff, cam, notebook, sww notes.
during ballet i didnt dance to my heart's content. i was just tired. i didnt point my toes, turn out the foot. ms kok was nagging at me. i was just waiting for time to pass so that i cld go for sww. and no thanks to ms kok, we were let late. because of the ppl who were taking exams. sheesh. dunid to drag me in right. changed like mad. without letting down the bun. ran to busstop. which i felt 196 left already. stupid 197. took so long. the journey there was like 2 times slower than 196. well. at least i got there. ok so 2 rows were occupied. so i sat right in front. boo :/ thanks dor for sitting with me. ahha. looked arnd for wc. hahs. he had the same colous shirt as ser!! maybe we are meant to be his daughters :D nah just kiddin. halfway came in, ps senglee was preaching. talked about past hurts. i think loads of memory came back into my mind[my dad who alays scolded me lasttime, my friends, being rejected, and everything. i still rmb i treated her like my best friend. but she didnt. she even hung out with another girl. right in front of ME. and not forgiving the ppl whom yew hate.] loads of thoughts came back. the really bad thoughts. then ps julie was invited to share her testimonial. she shared that forgiveness takes a long time. that if it was not complete, he wld make it happen (resurface the past hurts). so i wasnt alone at all. i thought initially i forgiven her. but i still felt angry at her. so alright. iwas really glad i wasnt alone.
ministry. i was afraid to go out. asked ser. *thanks a milll ser. yew the best =)* i mean alright, i just wanted to let everything out. i couldnt hold it in any longer.
dripping like a faucet. ser's words were really touching and affirming. i mean yes alright. all the past hurts just came back. He wanted to do a deeper healing. shimin. mom. dad. yeeboon. meihui. phoebe. szesian. everything. all the bad thoughts just came back. i gave evrything. all the things i hated. all bad things. i was just sobbing. thinking through all these that was giving me a hard time. its really hurting. cried like never before. for halfanhour (i guess). there ser was praying and really wiping my tears (im glad. ilu.) thinking about all the past was just hurting. a pain that stabbed my heart. loads of blood gushing out. i was just crying for Him. bl prayed for me.
Im glad the Lord took all of them away. i just felt so eased again.
next session. driving out the demons. its really freaky. i mean, im not scared that the demon will go inside me, but im afraid that the demon will just scare me. really exciting. then when ministry time, they just asked us to look out of we have any breathing diff or anythign like that. it means that the demon is in. thank God i didnt have. i was just shaking my knees, because it was really cold and i was really afraid i have been demonised. hah. so we just looked around and just observe how they do it. especially ps senglee.then we started holding hands and prayed in tongues, like nv before. prayer marathon. iadmitted my mouth was so dry and tired. but i continued, believeing that he will restore me.
then it was time that we , everyone in the sww wld be annointed by the EJ24 with the olive oil. really cool. i queued under pastor B. cos its good to be annointed by your Grandmother!
Oh yeah. i gotten olive oil on my forehead! whoopee! ahhhas. nah its the prayer that counts. Mrs cheng knew i had thyroid, so she just covered me... blah blah. wiated for dor. went down. sat with em. prayed for awhile myself.
it was closing already. we were dismissed, but our tribe still hung in there. then dor distributed cookies! ahhas. thanks dor. the cookies were delicious! i was starving. then bl came to talk to us. she was saying abt the past week, where we were disappointed by the registration thingy, and that.. yeah. she was just explaining that she came from a boken family.. now that i understood abt it i just forgave her. that was something i cldnt blame her. pastor B was there to hear. i mean alright. i was just touched cos she started crying. mann. so after a lil prayer we hugged each other. then we joined the whole tribe in prayer to consecrate ourselves.
Praise Him. He's just so wonderful. He does miracles.
Talked to wc :D loads of crapp. i think hes becoming closer to ser now :D atleast hes soo close to us now. im thankful for that. then we left to moossy again at p.s. as i was walking, i just thought that, i'll forgive her, slowly, at a slow pace. cause i have given up all my troubles to Him already =)
and yew know something? God is soo good.
Its like after i gave it up all to Him, He just prompted dor-->ser(is it?hahs.) to tell wj somematter. in which at first ididnt knew. then Lord tested me. she and wj were talking again. she was having fun with dawn. and em. i felt nothing. i felt like as if it is nothing wrong. there was a lil lil lil bit only, but not soo much. i felt so relieved.
so without knowing that matter, we took 14. to p.s. again i was sitting with phoe. then later we changed place alot of times. again we were crapping with the camera and talking loads of stuff. the ppl behind were talking. then mee went up behind ahpa. ser and dor were in front. we were really talking to fh and kb and wc because they looked tired. asi f they were bored. ser started crapping. and the bus was sooo cold. so i just moved the air con thingy. i shifted it to face wc. then i asked him whther he was feeling cold. he said he was (-.- hahhs.) told him. they all laughed. hah. dad. silly sense of humor. then she came and sit with us. tested. reached the station. wj is cute alright. ok soo i was like asking ser what did she do. then she tole me she told him .... alright. i thank God for her really. ser and dor the best :D and like ser, i thought ahpa was the best person i'ld go to. hes just so understanding, again like what ser said, he sees things at every point of view. cos hes bigger than us. hes wiser.
changed to eat at long johns. ahh. finally.
im glad wj changed.
wc gets to sit with his little kids in longjohns!! :D yays. but he was so quiet. so, we girls had to entertain him :D and hes just someone whom i love (father-daughter sense relationship.) (not knees and ankles) :D)
left to mrt. yays. dor took NEL (boo. haha.) then lp and bl and ser were taking NSL. we taking EWL. so again we were crapping like mad again. then we were just tlaking went both of our trains arrive so there was like a madd dash (lol!)
i think this mrt ride was one that i enjoyed the most.he talked more to me. clare was crapping with yh and they were acting gays. i was telling fh how retard and lame and childish yonghua looks. thats why i like him. yonghua is cute. oh yes but gay. ahhas.
just to sum it all up.
so God does miracles when yew placed your troubles in Him. not forgetting i gotta thank dor and ser, especially ser. God will bless yew abundantly =) ok's so now im slowly forgiving her. i thank God i am =).
then today, my history paper. ser gave me the psg which i tot it was so good. thanks for that encouragement. thanks phoee too.
sighs i really did loads of mistakes in my history paper. pls pray there.
*i thrust my history paper in his hands*
God is the greatest. He's the bestest fwen.
*the countdown starts again.
