Joyfully (:
You lead me by the waters still
You lay me down to rest upon your faithfulness
My shepherd, simply take my hand
Your song restores my soul
For Your name, You make me whole
Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee
With heaven watching over me, I raise my hands up high
Your Majesty gently washes over me
Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully
No shadow ever shall I fear
Your peace, my heart will k now
My cup it overflows
Your goodness chases after me
Your mercy and Your grace will be my dwelling place
Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee
With heaven watching over me I raise my hands up high
Your Majesty gently washes over me
Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully
I will sing from the mountain top
I will sing, I am overcome, I will sing making melodies
I will sing from the valley low
I will sing because of Your love I will sing
You're my King, I will sing
Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee
With heaven watching over me I raise my hands up high
Your Majesty gently washes over me
Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully
Joyfully, joyfully, joyfully
dailies
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
-5:09 PM
whoopee.
The last 2 weeks have been busy going out, not shopping or what but rather v meaningful stuff haha. had sleepover at cheryl's w tania on tues/wed plus swim, great time together watching little nyona and tv with home made salty popcorn and avocado milkshake yums. and got my awful unexpected haircut on friday (just trying to psyche myself into loving it haha!) it is what i term the ahlian haircut (sorry i know i stereotype) like majorly layered (!!!) i didnt know whther to laugh or cry, i just wanted to walk out of her house asap. but seems fine already la. sat was shopping w pris:)
and the highlight of my holidays so far is sleepover party at germys yest and mon. you could say it was my maiden stayover party because it's the first time i didnt really sleep throughout the whole night. though it was really short because many of them left early in the morn it was still so fun omg laughs. it started w accompanying ting to BCH for her job interview, haha (no way will i work there) and then dinner at thai w steph choops cali and cons. we flew to her house to catch nyona at 8 plus and then abz came + manda+dawn (so ya actually only 9 of us.) and well surprisingly after playing taboo they decided to watch rapture what the right! haha fun time laughing at e/o and eating krispy kremes courtesy of steph((: went back upstairs it was already 2 plus and cons went to sleep in the other room, while the rest of us laid out our sleeping bags and played polar bear ( haha i used to hate playing murderer because its such a boring game but change it to polar bear and heaven load of fun) for super long, dawn looked like the polar bear all the time heeheehee until like 430 and ordered macs haha siao manzz. at 7am it was lef t w me steph dawn and germs (sobs sobs) so we went up to play taboo hahahahaha omg toilet papers;.. was so fun please. laughed so hard till my stomach really hurted.
thank God for all the fun ((((: it was the shortest but best sleepover ever. later wentover for tuition, and then healthserve w amanda. happy day :)
2008 this was a rather different year. so manyfirsts times. probably the things that has left the most impact and is,unforgettable, are these:
1.jan, Kenrick's death. you cannot believe how awful it is to see a friend in hospital icu, unconscious, in coma and eventually, death. but the most comforting thing to know, and i believe, is that he is in safe arms of Jesus.
2. feb, dad's bike accident. guess it kind of changed the life of our family. but praise be to the Lord he is alright now. just crappy, stubborn and everything.
3. july, rapture 2008. it was my first time doing a major choreography with steph. tough time balancing books with this. countless number of arguments, tears, sweat and brain matter, most traumatic thing ever. but you know what, when it ended, i decided that: it was all good. despite all the mistakes we still make i'll never forget the high feeling after the concert, the sadness and tears we cried even before the concert started, and the relief i had- no more scolding haha.
4. nov, Alevels. what a bloody annoying irritating thing it was. it suckedd like totally shit manz. i shall not comment on anything more lest i explode.
2009- no more student price, bus fare *sobs sobs . but its gonna be exciting, no more studying like jc (for now) and a new direction, uni. but i want to believe God for everything. I thank Him for bringing me through this kind of shitty year, i know His hand was on me despite my unbelief, disobedience. True love comes from God alone. Thank God for placing wonderful friends in my life. i didnt deserve it. dance friends, class mateys, church people. even though some are lost (sadly) but there's gonna be so much more new ones next year. standing by me, encouraging me constantly with God's words.
i pray that i'll be able to start a new year fresh, putting behind all my ugliness and looking ahead believing God that He has a wonderful; plan for me. forgiving ppl im angry at. loving God even much more.
Happy new year ! love love love :))
Sunday, December 21, 2008
-10:38 PM
wow. it's a long time since i've blogged. i think last week i've been going out every day so havent been online... anyway after much proscrastination i got to meat up with loads of people. like sze sian (: well i can say she's changed so much to become so pretty haha. yeh man and i've been giving tuition to my cousin (and still feel like a failure!!!) maybe i should give that up soon. shopping with pris and sandy in town :D and haha thank God the neoprint shop closed down if not sand and i will be forced to take one with pris like seriously, not worth the money spent !!! exercise w hit and pris at hit's gym and then pool to swim (: and while pris was still in hk i went back to her place again to exercise, watch la bi xiaoxin on her apple phone on the bed ((: i enjoy such comfortable relaxing times.
anyway, xxx's grandmother passed away before that period, and that led me to remember the times where dad's mom (ahma) passsed away too, 2 years back in december. i was on my way to having a meal w the ballet dancers during the NZ classes w shayne and caroline steele. and then i got a call from mum, saying ahma passed away. she has been staying in a nursing home, with health problems like dementia so she forgot all of us already. so i thought i was prepared to see her passing, but i guess at the moment when i got the news i just broke down. sigh. then i realised i havent really had the time where i could thank her for everything she has done for the family.. even though dad and us were mad at her sometimes for being too oversensitive. and by the time she had dementia it was too late.. but i still thank God for all the wonderful things she did even when i didnt appreciate it in the past, the dinner she cooked, always cooking ginseng cordyceps w sweets (fruitips) in hand to counter the bitter stuff. she wanted us to grow up healthy. i love her for that. and im also thankful that she kind of accepted Christ even in her period of sickness. we believe that she is with the Lord. so im really glad shes in a better place now, enjoying friendship w the Lord, no more sickness(: God is so good right! thats what i'll be doing too when i die. yay(:
and i have been attending so many my hope parties. ok not many la, 3 but watching kelvin soh's video time and again always made me feel so thankful to God. amazing to know that God loves us so much, more than our family ever can, more than my best friends ever can, loving me when i did wrong, loving mefor who i am. I brought my cousins joanne and jolynn to our myhope party, they didnt really accept Christ but im glad that there is a new seed being planted in them and they are open to this. God is really good(:
i also went to cheryl's cell myhope party w athena, well the guys esp are kind of different from the guys in my tribe, they're more loud , fun loving... nothing bad about that. we watched olivias testimony, and it ended of with me praying a blessing for athena (: food was good, especially the ice cream which cheryl brought haha fattenning!!!!.
friday, i knew i agreed to help biling out in her new GB company's my hope party but on that day i woke up late.. so i was trying to force myself to come up w an excuse. but God wouldn't let me make this silly decision of not going (even i know it's silly.) so turns out, i was really blessed by this event. i was a very un-eloquent and unable to communicate well- person so the worse thing they could to was to put me in charge of the kids (!!!) i was like horrified, shock, petrified by this seemingly simple task. but at least, im glad i was able to talk to some of them. and strangely this whole thing caused me to draw nearer to God. maybe because i was really forced to pray for the kids and all that praying prep before they came. and the party ic (cant rem her name... D: ) affirmed our presence at the party to help out cus ps sooksan was short of helpers, so i was encouraged :) i think there were so many things that i didnt feel like doing this year end (even my group's myhope party) initially but i know that God wanted me to get some discipline. and im glad i took up these challenges.
today... xxxxxxxx came to church!!! it was christmas celeb. service so i took the opportunity to ask her along. and i believe that God wanted me to learn something today. During service, when pastor gave the altar call, i was praying so hard that xxxx will raise up her hands to accept Christ. but she didnt. so in my heart, i was disappointed. There i was, praying not just today but days and weeks before, but yet nothing!? i couldnt believe it. so after service i told myself (or prob the Holy spirit) : everything in God's time. so i thought i'll just ask her what was stopping her, and decided to get blink to talk to her since she'll be able to relate to her more. and next, she started crying. Deep inside me i know she was willing but yet there was something else beyond her control that caused her not to accept Christ. found out that she was really fearful this decision would affect the relationship w her parents as they pressured her to follow their religion . Then i realised,
everything in God's time.
i felt really sad seeing her in confusion. tears flowed including mine, but also knowing that God is really a God of peace who is able to give her that supernatural peace she needs, and also touched at how much God really loves us that He wouldnt let us go (quotes blink.) on the way home, i was thinking about this and tried to put myself in her shoes. it was then i actually felt in the same way how much pressure she faced from her parents. i was burdened. really. i prayed so hard that God will be with her, wanting to believe that her whole household will be saved, even her parents. i know that God will do more for her because she is precious in His sight. and so is everyone of you reading this. :)
thank God for xxxxxxxx. thank God for everything He has spoken to me. thank God for
CHRISTMAS!!! thank God for a wonderful Jesus. i love You.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
-9:25 PM
i want a double-portion of God's spirit.i seriously need a job soon before i go mad staying at home. anyway im starting tuition w my cousin this week, paid 20/ hour. (sec1 going on 2) initially i was kind of terrified to accept this request from my uncle because, she is 6th in class and her parents want her to be top 5 (um.. ok) and more suprisingly, her end year results for science was a nice 75% (i was like.. !!!) and her dad insists these must be above 80. math also 80 plus % and wants me to give her tuition -_- i asked xinyi if she ever felt stressed to do well and she said not at all. i think im the one that will end up becoming stress. AND i forgot all my physics in sec 1 2, AND i dont know what they're tested exactly AND i need to buy for her assessment books as welll.. i'm like, o.m.g. so now im reading through my sister's textbooks and exam papers -_- but above all these, God revealed to me that this is one way i can influence her for good of course. i mean she's a good girl who's got an active cca and good results but hopefully i am able to bring her to church one day (:
tribe session after church today, we watched my hope video and i dont regret coming for the meeting one bit. the video just left me in tears and quietly i wiped my flood of tears away in the dark. kelvin soh is such an awesome man, changed because of our awesome God. i was actually quite reluctant to be involved in this because sheryl and suzanne were not doing this (thus i was doing it alone in the cell) but im really glad i trusted God and asked Him to push me to inviting friends. many of them are unable to make it because they are overseas, but ive got my 2 other cousins gg(: i really thank God for this opportunity to share Christ w them, and im still praying hard that nothing will crop up for them so that they can come. I thank God for weilin who prayed for me during alter call, i want to thirst and hunger for God even more than before. also for Pastor Bel whom i did not expect to pray for me, i was moved by the Lord's unfailing and compassionate love. He knows the plans He has for me, i will not worry about my results, the courses i will take, or the future that God has ordained for me.
this week was a depressing one staying at home to clean up the house. somehow i was just feeling so bitter about my dad. i really dont understand him at all. You know the whole house is choke full of so many clutter of unessential items because he just CANNOT LET GO AND THROW THEM AWAY EVEN IF IT IS JUST SOME DUMB SMALL CONTAINER. POOR MUM, I REALLY PITY ALL THE CRAP SHE HAS TO PUT UP WITH BECAUSE OF HIM. omg. i dont want to talk about him he makes me boil. taskakjf' pOJWRP2FT ;wj'i
oh and chunkfest w steph on saturday.had a good talk again . she got so pissed at the hot weather and i was so frightened. haha but in the end the ice cream cooled us down and happy steph gobbled down her fav peanut butter ice cream. later met val! :D long time no see oldie at simei. gonna check out her new 'room' and neighbours cats and dogs soon :p
Thursday, December 04, 2008
-10:25 PM
most angriest??? week for me.
everything was good: sat shopping with tingtingting (sony ericsson expert, yes im getting a new un-outdated hp for the 1st time) which i only bought a pair of earrings from perlini's. while that girl shopped for her prom stuff. i like to dance spontaneously in public when im w the dancers. haha. sunday was volunteering at healthserve, monday and tues staying at home to be the i-promised-to-do-chores-after-Alevel maid -__- not fun and made me really really mad, i started blaming my sister and dad for making the house super unkempt and messy, which is true. but at least im satisfied w not staring at the computer for a long time. wed night date w pris and thank God He kind of answered my prayer: comfortable pretty and
cheap jeans from bossini (30bux) and we had yumm dinner at thai express at paragon and double scoops of azabu sabo ice cream :DD omg yes orchard's christmas deco this year is seriously ugly and kiddy.
until todaY my dad caused me to explode. big time. now i know how steph feels. ARGH :OB:EOIU NOFE :OIUFE:(WU(WEU FEEIOE S:LADKFLGJSDLJGDJJGLSDGJGJ:SGDH**W^q# ^^&#*(@*^t#*ouihjq rhfeji
sometimes i feel God cant even help me dampen the flame / forgive people.
-12:14 AM
sometimes i need to think about God so that i remember His existent.i've been checking out different courses at NUS that suits me and sadly i think not much. Of course it'll be good if i can get into medicine because that's something i really love to do and have passion. in the 1st year of JC i remember telling the class during this dumb speech and oral presentation workshop that i would like to be a doc so that i can travel to countries like East Timor and maybe Africa to help the less fortunate with foc medical service. that is still my dream today. watching those documentaries on tv in the past which showed doctors from SG travelling to these countries to perform free surgery for those kids w cleft lips who cannot afford these really touched my heart. and today i'm reading this
CHINESE book which is really really interesting (though iwould like an english version) about this girl called Christine who had CMD (muscular dystrophy) and the family is apparently from my church fcbc. it talks about how her mother first gave birth to her (the stupid anaesthesiologist gave too little morphine and anaesthetic that caused her to wake up during the C-section cus the kid was premature, breech baby.) and boy i could feel her pain. she couldnt tell the doctor she was awake because of the effect of certain medicine so she had to bear the tremendous, OMG pain while the darn doctors were pulling out the kid and didnt know she was awake. later she was told that under such conditions it was so serious that she could have almost died. i was pretty much cursing the doctor while reading this part. and how christine grew up to be a weak , eventually passing away at age 13. Yet this book really showed God's power and presence with them throughout the whole ordeal. really touching book.
ok back to my point, i've been helping out at Healthserve clinic in geylang for 2 days already. it only opens 2 days a week and serves mainly commercial sex workers/ migrant workers. christian clinic. im keen to go at every chance haha. all doctors and nurses/ volunteers are not paid. so i tagged along w mommy to learn more. i got a chance to watch the doctor yesterday cut a patients eyelid and squeeze out all the pus (like pimple which happened to me before) and ouch it was scary hah. dispensing medicine w mom was fun and i met joscelyn whos one year older than me:D she brought along a medical student friend and its interesting to hear about the stress she faces in school. i really wouldnt mind slogging my guts out, even when it gets tough i guess. sigh. sometimes i wish i was in medicine school already. the application process is gonna be painful. as long as i dont get 3 As and a B for GP im out (and GP was like......... *&(*&%$^)
i'm still praying about it. I quote Pastor Khong in one of his recent sermons "Pastor Nina says she became a doctor because God destined that she became one."
I'm hoping im also made to be one. If not, show me the way, Lord. I want to follow You.
