Joyfully (:
You lead me by the waters still
You lay me down to rest upon your faithfulness
My shepherd, simply take my hand
Your song restores my soul
For Your name, You make me whole
Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee
With heaven watching over me, I raise my hands up high
Your Majesty gently washes over me
Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully
No shadow ever shall I fear
Your peace, my heart will k now
My cup it overflows
Your goodness chases after me
Your mercy and Your grace will be my dwelling place
Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee
With heaven watching over me I raise my hands up high
Your Majesty gently washes over me
Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully
I will sing from the mountain top
I will sing, I am overcome, I will sing making melodies
I will sing from the valley low
I will sing because of Your love I will sing
You're my King, I will sing
Joyfully I lift my voice in praise to Thee
With heaven watching over me I raise my hands up high
Your Majesty gently washes over me
Makes my heart begin to sing joyfully
Joyfully, joyfully, joyfully
dailies
Saturday, May 14, 2005
-11:38 AM
ok finally the exams are over.
constant worrying over the results. sometimes i think, though i know i've God, why am i still woryying?
good question.
well any way here's what happened over the april and may months.
aprildays.i cant remember much, im so sorry.
ok. im looking at my planner now to recall events.
1) mr goh is FINALLY gone. yays. triphop. the moment i see his photo in friendster makes me feel disgusted. urgh. he scares me.
i can still see the words i wrote in m planner, beside the chem ca. God was good. he heard my prayers. he saw that i didnt have enough time to study for it, so he postponed it. :) i got quite a good mark. but i guess, my mid year would be bad.. there i am worrying again.
ballet: im not taking the pre-ele exam anymore. after hearing that phoebe's friend took it at jc, then i decided to wait after my o's. this way it'll be better. hopefull my technique improves. and im quite close to a split now! but i didnt stretch much during exams. i'll be going on a stretching frenzy soon. and i decided to tan by going swimming with val. haha. heard that the geylang swimming pool is renovated. and im gonna run at bedok reservoir. lose weight. i ate alot during the exam period. i remember drinking soo much soyabean milk on sunday and i had stomachache during the exam on monday. i eat to relieve stress. you can see me constantly rummaging the fridge for some food. if not i'll go downstairs. it takes me anything to eat.
i also missed quite some ballet lessons. in particular, 3. im going back for it tomorrow! yays. i need new tights too. mine is already full of holes. i heard that capezio tights already got the big hole at the bottom of the feet. that is so kool. im getting it. and tights burn a hole in my pocket. 20 bucks plus for a pair. sigh.
may daysme and hanxiao were suddenly library fanatics. after school on the day before english paper me, hanxiao, yongxiong, wilson and dragon went to tampines library to study. i did linear law tys. the whole thing. then wilson and yxiong were doing english essay, as if it was the real test. its funny. yxiong gave up halfway, saying his storey was crap. haha. and the stoopid tables were so short! cannot fold my legs. when i folded the table kept moving. wilson looked stunned. lol.
and then it was quite funny. we stayed till 7 +. then tianlong asked the iq question and we were disscussing like why was the answer 100 and not 175.. wilson and tianlong were so keen to prove their answers. actually i think both are correct. haha. that is like so dumb. oh, and dragon brought the oreo bubble tea @-@ into the library. all of us were sharing the drink with the same straw LOL. then while we passing it around we got caught by a librarian=/ lol. damn stupid.
we also studied on tuesday. first we went to library, then the librarian chased us out cos it wasnt during study hours. we went seperate ways (tianlong wilson, and me and hanxiao)me and hanxiao dunno whther to go home, so we went to kfc study. we needed help with amths bigtime. called dragon, they came down. lol. still remembered doing this chem qn together about electrons of phosphorus. we were like going crazy over the answer, in the end we realised we were wrong beccuase the proton number of phosphorus was16. we thought it was 15. haha. stupid.
those were the days. we studied like crap. study group is totally fun man, especially with smart-asses :)
and i flopped my emaths paper. i flopped english. i flopped bio and chem. why?
i seriously do not know why God doesnt want me to do well in maths anymore. maths had been my strongest subject. sec 2 maths was great. i never failed to get a1's for all my ca. even my midyear. i guess it was never meant to be this year. ive been studying so hard, but i guess nothing is good now.
and many things happened over the past few weeks. ive been seriously getting sick of going to church. sometimes i would rather sit alone. total peace. sometimes i wished i was in another tribe, but that shouldnt happen la. i already affirmed blink that she was my good good mom. so how can i change? phoebe was back last week. havent seen her for a long time. and i guess, dorcas is again mad at me.
in school, its not really as good either. sometimes, or rather i always wished to be her good friend, buti guess that can never happen. she's already got 2 best friends, and they even have a name. talking to her is overcoming a big big barrier.sigh.
i have no one to look to, other than God.
and i feel so desperate. i realised that sometimes its my fault. the guilt of leaving phoebe out lasttime still floats around. the guilt of what i did to szesian also hangs around.
oh boo. sometimes i wished i would die. i mean if you died you wont have to suffer any more. you dont have to worry about your mid year or endyear papers. you dont have to worry about other problems that happen in life. i imagine myself jumping down a hdb flat, but i wouldnt have the guts to do so.
well. i really am looking forward to better things in life.
:)
so here's what i'll do, or i plan to do during holidays.
#1brush up on my amath, emath, chinese, chem, physics, bio and even english. and hist. hmm isnt that the same as studying for everything :/
#2 goswimming as mentioned. tan. hang out with val and lumps. maybe szesian? im waiting for an opportunity.
#3 go running. feel like asking wilson.
#4 stretch, gain flexibility. split. aim to get a scorpion.(back catch.) and have a more bendy back.
#5 achieve a perfect single piroutte. try for doubles, with spotting. or even fouettes with spotting.
#6 improve in techniques. need them badly. go for intensive training(to me.)
#7 spend more time with God.
#8 bring ppl to christ (hiphiphurray. hl and boonkiat are coming today:)
and thats all. if i have anymore i'll update it.
chiaus guys.
-vanadium
